Man wears high-heels to work because they make him feel empowered

Ashley Maxwell-Lam, a project manager for a major bank in Sydney, Australia, has been wearing six-inch stilettos to work for about a year and claims they make him feel empowered.

30-year-old Ashley has always loved women in high-heels and the power they exude, so he decided to adopt the same footwear in order to feel empowered as well.

The trick worked, and now he wears one of his nine pairs of six-inch stilettos to his financial services job in Sydney’s CBD several times a week, especially when meeting with new clients. Apparently, the combination of dapper suit, tie and high-heel shoes makes for a great ice-breaker.

The idea of wearing women’s high-heel shoes to work came about last year, right after Ashley moved from Queensland to Sydney.

One day, he watched a video of Yanis Marshall, Arnaud and Mehdi, a French trio of male dancers in high heels, on TV, and it got him thinking.

Then there was this female executive at his bank who seemed to tower over every room she walked in, and who claimed it was all in the shoes.

“I asked her how could an object make you feel powerful? So she said, ‘try them on and see’,” Maxwell-Lam told News.com.au. “I did and exactly what she said rang true. I’ve never felt more empowered then putting on a pair of stilettos and walking through a marble lobby.”

So Ashley, who is openly gay, has been wearing high-heels to work ever since. He doesn’t wear them day in, day out, as he admits they can get quite uncomfortable after a while, but he’ll always put them on when meeting with new clients.

His manager didn’t really know what to say when the 30-year-old told her that he planned on wearing high-heels to work, but he let her know that he was very serious about it.

“When I decided to wear them at work, I told my (manager) and she said, ‘Let me just confirm that’s OK,’” Ashley recalled. “It was her making sure I wouldn’t get in trouble, but I replied, ‘This is not me asking, this is not a request, this is me telling you I’m going to be wearing heels.'”

Although the reception of his footwear has been generally positive, Ashley Maxwell-Lam admits that he occasionally gets “looks of disgust”, particularly from members of the gay community.

“The only time I’ve had bad situations is actually within my own community,” he said. “(Some) gay people have said to me, ‘Why are you wearing a heel, that’s disgusting, you’re a man? You shove it down people’s throats, no wonder gays get bashed.”

“I reply, ‘You lost the right to judge me when you preened yourself within an inch of your life. You may look like a lumberjack but your tan’s out of a bottle, your eyebrows are plucked, you go to a barber twice a week and you’ve never touched a power tool in your life’. Our emblem is a rainbow and yet they condemn others because they don’t align with their way of thinking.”

Ashley says he loves the attention he gets when he’s trotting around in his manly suit and high-heel shoes, but it’s not why he does it. He just loves the “contrast between masculinity and femininity” and the way it makes people question things.

How to Choose the Ideal Pair of Wedding Shoes

There are a few factors to take note when choosing a pair of wedding shoes. Your partner and your height, the style and colour of your wedding gown, length of your gown and how comfortable you are wearing heels.

Heels, how high?

Higher heels will make your legs look more slender and toned (keeping your calves flexed), and they'll also ensure better posture.

Shorter brides are always tempted to go for higher heels to give them height. However if you do not wear high heels regularly, you may end up with sore feet and ruin your special day. Remember the shoes will need to be comfortable enough to be worn for the whole day.

Alternatively, it would be a good idea to start training walking with high heels before your big day.

If you have a long wedding dress, you can consider wedge platform style shoes, since the shoes will be concealed under the long dress.

Ultimately, you should consider heel height which you are comfortable with.

Bridal Shoes Colour

The traditional colour for wedding is ivory and white so the obvious choice is to choose the shoe colour that matches your gown. Silver is an easy colour to match so most brides would choose silver shoes as it complements their evening gown too

Lately there is a growing trend of brides becoming more adventurous and going for bolder colours like gold, rose red and apple green just to add their own unique flavour and really stand out on their big day. Bolder colours can be worn to match the wedding theme or bring out the subtle colour on the gown.

If possible bring a along fabric swatches of your gown. If you need to take a photo, be sure to take it under white or natural lights. Most bridal studio have yellow spot lights and any colour under yellow light will turn out to be misleading.

Type of gown

If your gown has elaborate details such as embroidery or beading, go for simple looking bridal shoes. The focus should be on your gown and you do not want the bridal shoes to take away that focus.

If you have a simple dress, more fancy looking shoes can really enhance and give the overall elegant look. Bridal shoes can be ornamented with embellishments such as crystals, rhinestone, bows, beading, and embroidery

Covered or open-toe

Covered wedding shoes give a more formal look and would be more suitable for church ceremonies or a grand wedding dinner.

Open toe wedding shoes are good for brides who want to show off their pedicure which is the rage nowadays. Open toe wedding shoes would be more suitable for hot tropical country like Singapore, especially for outdoor or garden weddings.

For those who are undecided, go for peep-toe shoes. You get the best of both worlds.

When Should You Wear High Heel Shoes?

If you are a shoe lover as much as I am, you probably have over a dozen stunning high shoes in your cupboard. However, when is it really appropriate for you to wear a pair of high heel shoes?

I've seen women wear high heels on many occasions while they sacrifice the comfort of their feet. I find that there are only certain occasions and events to which you should wear your sexy high heel shoes. There are certain places you shouldn't wear them to. Here is my list of places which are either appropriate or inappropriate.

Appropriate occasions for wearing high heel shoes.

1.A Dinner Date: If you are going out on a date with a gentleman, especially if it's the first date, you can put on your sexy shoes. You will appear to him as a confident lady. This is a quality many men admire in a woman. Better yet, you'll be seated most of the time so your feet won't get hurt.

2.A Wedding: Receiving an invitation to a wedding is an honour. With wedding costs skyrocketing, couples are compelled to invite selected guests only. If you are the lucky recipient of a wedding invitation, you need to look the part. Weddings are occasions usually celebrated in style where guests are required to be dressed formally. When you choose your elegant evening dress you can certainly put on a pair of sophisticated high heel evening shoes to complement your dress.

3.Year End Functions: If you are going to a year-end function or any corporate function for that matter you need to look powerful and professional. A woman wearing a beautiful pair of high heels indicates to her colleagues that she is confident, strong and determined. Furthermore, while you are mingling and moving around, you'll find that the shoes are actually quite comfortable and manageable.

Inappropriate occasions for wearing high heel shoes.

1.The Shopping Mall: We all love to get attention but getting attention at a shopping mall is not good. Shoppers tend to gawk and criticise ladies who wear high shoes in malls. Furthermore, high heels are not made for walking long distances and you could easily walk 5km in a mall. I don't know about you but I'm not going to walk 5km in my heels. Why should I put myself through that pain?

2.Travelling: When you are travelling by plane or train, you'll have lots of luggage that you'll need to lug around. Yes, I know there are trolleys but there are some areas that you can't use them and you still have to lift your bags. The extra weight of the bags could hurt your ankles. So consider your feet the next time you travel.

I hope I have given you some insight in the world of fashion shoes. High heels are a girl's best friend but only when you wear them at the right time.

How to Choose the Perfect Shoes for Prom

You have finally found your perfect (Faviana) prom dress. After days of researching and trying on multiple styles of prom dresses, you ended your search with the most beautiful, jaw-dropping dress you have been dreaming of since middle school. Now all that is left is for you to show it off at pre-prom, right? Wrong! Now you must begin your search for the perfect prom shoes to pair with it. Before starting this search, make sure to snap a picture of your dress to bring shopping with you so you can refer back to details of the beading, color, or lace details so you can assure the perfect match.  Keep reading for tips to pick the perfect prom shoes.

Glam or Sophisticated?

Now you can start shopping! First, consider what your dress looks like. Is it super glitz and glam or simple yet elegant? That question is a huge factor when picking out your prom shoes. If you went for the glitz and glam type of dress with sparkles from your neck to your ankles, you may want to keep your shoes less elaborate to ensure you do not take away from the dress or even worse, clash with the dress. This shoe can have a single strap around your ankle and be just what your dress needs. If your dress is on the plainer side without too much sparkle, do not be afraid to choose a pair of shoes that will really pop and add some glamour. Remember, it is all about balance.  This shoe can be a fully dazzled pump, or maybe super strappy and shiny. You will still have that sophisticated, chic look you wanted but with just a dash of flash. If you feel your dress is right between glam and simple, then i would really reccommend that you pay particular attention to the color of your shoes as that can be a deal breaker if they don’t match the dress perfectly.

Choose Your Color Wisely!

The second factor that will arise will be contemplating the color choice. Personally, I would always recommend a neutral color. This will allow your dress to blend with the shoe instead of being forced to go together. In addition, you can get a lot of re-wear out of these shoes because you will not have to worry if the color will match because neutral goes with everything. Neutral colors include (but are not limited to) silver, gold, black and nude. If you are set on matching the color to the dress exactly, be sure to bring a color swatch shopping with you. Even though the shade of blue on the shoes looks identical to your dress in the picture, it does not mean they will match up in person.  Also know that if you really want to match your shoes to your dress exactly, then you can always choose a shoe what is made out of fabric and have them dyed to match it.  Many bridal stores offer this service.

Height Matters!

After finding a pair that meets all the above requirements, the last step is to make sure the size of the heel is good for you! Remember this is going to be a long day and let’s be real, your feet will probably hurt post-prom. Even if you are used to high, high heels, think about the length of time you will be on your feet. You also want to make sure you can walk and dance comfortably! Remember not to get discouraged while shopping. After you find your shoes, you are one step closer to prom night.  Next step, jewelry!